what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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