I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
