girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
