he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sext me about skeletons
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