help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
