Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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