I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
