Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
