We're like a lot better than the average bears
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
