I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Barsexuality is the new black.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
