She is in my trunk
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
