i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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