He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you didnt know i had herpes?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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