that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
