Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
