I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
