i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it glows. i had to have it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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