Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
