i think my tv is drunk
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
