all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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