There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
