she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
