Just took my morning after pill in the library
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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