He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
