You really coming over, don't trick.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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