found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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