My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
