Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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