operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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