You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
