.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
