she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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