WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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