i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
