Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
