12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
