I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
