went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
