If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I intend to get homeless drunk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
