Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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