Sponge bath it is.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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