the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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