It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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