We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
why is half of my head shaved?
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