There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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