Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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