Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
