i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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