after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
