i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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